Constant thoughts about your ex, checking their social media, crying and being unable to focus — heartbreak is real pain. Research shows the brain responds to romantic rejection in some of the same regions involved in physical pain and craving.
What is normal
- Sadness, anger and confusion that come in waves
- Trouble sleeping or eating for a while
- Replaying memories and asking “what did I do wrong?”
- Good days followed by sudden bad days
Practical steps to heal
- Try 30 days of no contact — mute or unfollow. It is self-care, not revenge.
- Write a letter to them that you never send.
- Rebuild your routine — sleep, meals, exercise and study or work.
- Reconnect with friends and family.
- Learn something new to rebuild your sense of self.
- Notice self-blame and replace it with a kinder, more balanced view.
When to seek help
If, weeks later, you still can’t function — studies or work are suffering, you feel worthless, or you are using alcohol to cope — it may be an adjustment difficulty that responds well to support. Structured therapy combining CBT, emotional-intelligence work and self-esteem building usually helps within 6–12 sessions.
If you have thoughts of harming yourself, please talk to someone today — call Tele-MANAS 14416 (free, 24×7).
Frequently asked questions
How long does it take to get over a breakup?
There is no fixed timeline. Most people feel gradually better over weeks to months, especially with support, routine and limited contact with the ex.
Is it normal to feel physical pain after a breakup?
Yes. Grief can cause chest heaviness, poor sleep and appetite changes. If these continue or you feel hopeless, seek professional help.
Can counselling help after a breakup?
Yes. Breakup counselling helps you process grief, rebuild self-worth and understand patterns so future relationships feel healthier.
Talk to a professional
If this article sounds familiar, you don’t have to work it out alone. Book a confidential session with Dr. Rabya Umman at Vasant Kunj, New Friends Colony or online.
Related services
This article is for general information and is not a substitute for a professional assessment. If you are in crisis, call Tele-MANAS 14416 (free, 24×7).
